In the End
by ShockWaveWolf
Summary: A little gore, a some kuwabara angst, and a ton of speculation. Maybe one shot, but not sure. R&R please...


In the End

"I tried so hard and got so far

But in the end, it doesn't even matter

I had to fall, to lose it all

But in the end, it doesn't even matter"

-Linkin Park

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho or any of it's characters.

Author's Note: Ok, I love Kuwabara... I LOVE him. If I counted the ways you'd be here all day, so I wont in this fic. And I fixed the lyrics, so it's spiffy now. Oh btw, I have screwed around with his character a little to give him this inner angsty problem. I like inner angsty problems. Is it a One shot? I dunno, could be, might not be. Might be Kuwabara/Yuusuke. Who knows? Anyways, R&R (doesn't mean rest and relaxation you know!)

Kuwabara's POV

Ok this is no problem. Really, I can handle a twenty-foot demon no sweat. Even if my sword wont work against it's body armor, now that I've wasted most of my ki on the other demons. Getting separated from the others was no big deal, I can handle this. All I need is a little extra ki, that's all. You don't need to worry... I wonder if you noticed I'm missing yet... probably not.

The demon's roar echoes all around this tiny room, shaking me through the bone. I recognize that noise; he knows it's over too. Heh, heh... Sucker. Thinks he's so strong, but the damn thing doesn't even know what strength is. I'm doing it a favor. If I wait for _you_ to show, it'll find out what it really means to be on the low end of things...

I ball my fists again in front of me, summoning the ki for the last round. It flickers faintly in my palms at first, but as I tap the life reserve, the blades glow sharp and gold in my hands. My mind, body, and spirit are all in the same place for once. I know this is my battle. It sucks; I bet you'd bring this thing down no problem, and I'm already tapping my life force. Just a little, but still. I'll never reach that goal, the one I swore on so long ago. I guess you were right... Urameshi...

Do you remember, Urameshi? You damned punk, showing up late to class, shady cat swagger, like you had nothing to fear. Sure, I'd heard about you. Some new bastard kicking up trouble in the area. I didn't really care, you might be undefeated, but those guys were just punks like you. I had a purpose; I was out to make my self a great fighter. I couldn't waste my time on guys like you.

You looked me straight in the eye that day. No one ever did that, they didn't dare. I guess you were impressed when I stared back, or you figured I didn't know what I was messin' with. You didn' know who _you_ were messin' with... I got a feeling 'bout you then. Somewhere during our staring contest, heat rose in my chest, and the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. I decided then to keep an eye on you. You were more than you appeared. Dangerous... But that was a different time...

You probably knew that already though. I was the Great Kuwabara, defender of our school. Everyone knew that. But what you didn't know was that I was already lost. I had become so obsessed with this job, that I forgot my purpose. I fought like a dog, trying to stay on top. I forgot, that all I wanted to become was a great fighter. Or didn't you? Months passed by and we'd pass by each other since that first day. You always stared at me, and I always stared back. Except that one day... The day everything changed. Yeah, that was along time ago wasn't it Urameshi? Did you even know you changed me? Did you even notice? It seems like such a long time ago.

The adrenaline is pumping through my body now. I'm holdin' nothin' back. The demon knows it. That look in its eyes... That fear... I'm sure it doesn't understand me. How can someone want to throw away their life like this? Why? Ch... I'm a human after all, what do I get by fearing my death? I can't help but feel a little disappointment. I mean, this is its last battle, and all it can do is simper like some coward. The least it could do for me is make this interesting.

That day, you came to me remember? You never challenged anybody, but you came to me. You asked me what made me so great, all I was, was one of a million. I was gonna show you. No one could talk to me like that. I was undefeated in the street fights of the past, and some no account thug wasn't goin' to bring me down. I told you to meet me on the baseball field after school.

You came... Late... You said you didn't care about punctuality where bullies were concerned. I was amazed... or confused, _who_ was the bully? I was so sure you were just another thug. That same glazed expression in you eyes, as all the other punks I'd ground into the cement. I was gonna give you the first strike, but you'd called me out. So I charged at you, such a short little punk, this would be over in no time.

I was on you before you could count to two, but it didn't matter. You had my arm, and swung me around. I'd never felt such strength before. It was like lightning was running through my veins when you touched me. We were practically nose-to-nose when it happened. When the cheering faded, and the surroundings blurred. When time turned into molasses. When I looked in your eyes, there was a fire there. I'd never seen anything like it before, from nobody. Something deep and painful, something lonely.

I saw my reflection then. With that same glazed expression in my eyes, same as all the punks I'd hammered into the ground. My whole world collapsed that day Urameshi. All the fights flashed before my eyes, all my training. All the perfection. It was disgusting, perfection. My skill reduced to mediocrity, in less time than it takes to tell. I had wanted to become great, and forgotten what it meant to be great. I was just a dog, just one in a million. Did you know that? Is that why you called me out? I bet ya don't even remember Urameshi. I bet it was just another day in the life for you, but it doesn't matter anymore.

When I came to, lying on the ground with my friends standing over me. You'd already left. Not even my sister had ever hit me so hard in my life. No one throws punches like you, Urameshi. You never held anything back. I never knew your secret 'till now. It wasn't just that you had a ton of spirit behind each fist; it was that you were willing to sacrifice it all to win. I've never been that hard core. But you've changed too since that day.

The demon charged me; I extend the tip of my sword, with the new energy, and it cuts through the armor like a hot knife through butter. Right through its belly, and I drag the spirit energy right up through its ribcage, gutting it like a fish. It falls to the floor in a useless pile, but I don't stop. I slice at it again and again; I hate it. Stupid coward, it can't even die right. I should probably stop now, but I continue to hack at it. The body somehow transforming from the monster form into mine. And I still cut at it, cut its arms and legs off, spreading blood everywhere. Stupid weakling!

After you left, I got up, and took the switchblade from my pocket. My friends all freaked out when I took it and gripped the blade tight in my right hand. The dark blood flowed freely from those wounds, and I swore on that blood and pain, that I would show you that I was really tough. I would fight you, and you would acknowledge my strength. I promised you, Urameshi. But I guess we know how that all turned out huh?

Here I am now. There's not much left of the monster anymore. All the blood and chunks are kind of spread all over the area. Hell, I really hacked that thing to pieces. Of course now I'm really tired. Not just dizzy like I used to get, but I just feel so... heavy. I sit against the wall, wondering if you'll come and find me. Probably not. It's getting harder to breathe, and I realize the sword is still glowing in my hand. I know I should let it go out, and conserve what little energy I have left, but an amusing idea hits me. What if I just let it keep burning? What if I just let this little light inside me go out?

Thinking about you guys finding my body over here, makes me laugh a little. Would it surprise you that this little battle killed me? Would you even think that I could have easily survived if I wanted to? Would you think that I would kill myself?

You know what's even funnier? What if you guys never found my body, what if you never looked? That's just hilarious. 'What happened to Kuwabara?' 'Who?' 'That weak guy that always tagged along.' 'Oh him. Who cares?' I laugh and laugh. It's not really that funny but it feels good to laugh like this. Things are getting dark now, Urameshi. And I'll let you in on a little... secret...... I......... Always............


End file.
